Simply put, this is a medium for me. Although presented to the vast, World Wide Web, I doubt many will invest the time to read it. Those that do, will either not care, or forget everything they read before their browser window is closed. These are my censored thoughts and exaggerated experiences.
Friday, May 27, 2005
...It's ok, I like being alone...
There has got to be something wrong with me. It's final. I'm never going to get married. I've got way too many commitment issues. I just don't get it. I think that part of my brain is broken. LOL
I'm not really that picky, I don't ask for much. I just for some reason, find myself in these GREAT relationships but after a few months to a year -- I start to lose interest. My last 3 or so girlfriends have seemed very promising. Not only to me, but to everyone around me. We were ALL sure that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. Yah, well... that doesn't last.
The sad reality is, ...It's ALWAYS me that has the issue. I'm always the one that loses interest, and calls things off. Usually I find that the girl is missing one measly thing from my list of demanding requirements. Most people I'm sure would probably overlook the stupid little things on my list, but for some reason, no matter how hard I try to look past them, they just continue to burn a hole in my subconscious and eventually I have to face the fact that it bugs the shit out of me. My demanding list is as follows:
Needs some sort of belief in God.
Some level of higher education would be nice, but isn't absolutely mandatory.
Needs some level of gumption in life.
Must like sex. (A lot)
Obviously I need to be physically attracted to her.
Ok, ok... so maybe I'm picky. I don't know... I never really thought that I was that hard to please. But, over the years... I found that these things are important to me in my half-hearted search for the "one of my dreams."
I always seem to find the perfect girl, "BUT.... "
That my friends IS the problem. I guess I'm doomed. Oh well... I'll be starting the countdown to 30 here pretty soon. Better figure something out.
Today, I'm going to mix things up a little. I know, I know... this might be a little too much to handle, but I'm going to live on the edge... and try to update my blog while the sun is shining. So far today, I've tested the boundaries of excitement. I woke up at 10AM, and then.... without warning.... I ate some cereal. Whoa... Ok, so I'm not really that exciting. I'm actually thinking of washing the mud off my truck... as I did a little durbin' last night around 1AM. That's sorta exciting -- well at least it was fun. It would have been great, minus the unreal amount of mosquito's that were following my headlights around. I was down by the lake, so it wasn't super surprising. Anyways, thanks Moisty and Amy for the movie ideas. I haven't seen a lot of the ones Moisty mentioned and I haven't seen the Anime one that Amy mentioned.... So, I'll have to try them out. Thanks to anyone else that might post on there after I've written this entry.
I hate to say it, but I've never really been that impressed with the new episodes that have been coming out the past few years. I'm sure that this is borderline blasphemy in some of your eyes, but I really just wasn't that amazed.
Sure they were good movies, etc. But they weren't impressive. I guess it was just that the hype over the movies was inflated to a point where I was expecting to ascend into heaven while watching it. So, when I found myself still sitting in the Cinemark Theater during the movie, I was a little disappointed. ;o)
Oh, speaking of movies... how about some recommendations people? I watch a lot of movies over the weekends. So, I'm starting to run out of options... So, if you've seen a movie that you thought was great, send me a comment. Because I have millions of readers, I'm sure to have billions of recommendations. lol
Wow, it's amazing how much time school took up of my life. I mean, I really never noticed until I took a semester off. I'm dying... I find myself waking up everyday with NOTHING to do. Although nice to have a break, I find myself itchy to do something.
I will mention, however, since I've had more time to do what "I" want, a few things have started to take place that I like. First -- I have a lot more time for my friends. It's really nice. A lot of my old roommates went off and got married. Most of the time it was friends marrying friends. So, it's sorta nice cause we're still all very close. The problem is that we don't hang out as much as before, naturally cause they have their own lives, etc.
This has always been a hard thing for me to deal with. I really liked the little "clan" that we'd developed, and I didn't like the thought of us not being CLOSE friends anymore.
Well, time has passed, and there are kids now, etc. Amazingly enough, however, we're all still very close. We still go out on trips, camping, or just xbox parties. It's a lot of fun. What I was getting at with all of this though, is that now that I have more free time, I'm able to hang out with all of these friends more.
My Dad is mad at me. Ugh... I hate that. He wants me to email him all the time with updates on my life, etc. The problem is, (as anyone reading this blog can tell) that my life is really not super thrilling. So, since there's really nothing to tell him about, I don't. Well this has pissed him off and he thinks that hate him or something. Just RECEIVING an email like that irritates me. I'm not mad at all... I just don't have anything to say. I'll send an email when something cool happens. Or I have some kind of question or thought that I think he could explain or help me with. But I don't think its necessary to write him an email and let him know how many pieces of toilet paper I used today.
I burned the shit out of my thumb yesterday. I put a light bulb in a touch lamp, to see if it would work, and when I found that it wouldn't (apparently I need a bulb that has three settings) I immediately began to take the bulb out. It hadn't been on for 10 seconds yet. When I grabbed that son of a bitch, it burned my thumb SO bad.
Ok, so maybe I'm the most morbid person in the world, but I have a story that I need to share, that I just could NOT stop laughing about. Disclaimer: This may not be funny to you readers, mainly because you don't know the parties involved. So, my good, good friend and his wife were leaving their basement apartment, to go in search of a new place to live. Apparently the city was slow at informing their landlords that the house was not zoned properly to have a downstairs apartment, so my friends are being kicked out. How did the city find out you ask? The asshole neighbor tattled on them. Liked a damned 4 year old who doesn't wanna share his toys with his cousin from out of town. This, is where it gets funny. These neighbors have a Pomeranian dog. You know the stupid worthless dogs that serve no purpose other then being annoying, loud, and hairy. Well, this dog is a chaser. He loves to attack cars as they drive by. Well, typically he's on a leash, and is safe from the spinning wheels of death. Today, however... was different. The neighbor was outside, "supervising" the dog, and felt no need to put it on a leash. To make a long story short, my friend ran the dog over, right in front of the owner, and totally killed it. Now the reason that this is funny is for multiple reasons. In addition for the neighbor being an ass, and the dog being stupid and a relentless barker, my friend just doesn't deal with embarrassing / awkward situations like this very well. He's a very "cool" person, and doesn't wanna have any of these sort of problems. So, from what I understand, my friend got out, and just started at the dog and the owner... mouth open in shock and all. The owner couldn't really respond, cause it totally wasn't my friend's fault. Well, I guess the owner scraped up the bloody remains of the dog so his daughter wouldn't see, and threw it away. Ahhhh.... The Irony! Serves them right.... bastards.
Whoa! Hold your horses... so I missed like a week of posting... I got like 2 million complaints that I wasn't updating this baby more often. Ok, so not really... But that would have been really cool.
Well, school's out, I passed all of my classes. I did a really shitty job at it though. I mean, I really hardly performed. It rather embarrassing, actually. My parents, although happy that I'm still on the right path to graduating, I'm sure aren't super thrilled about two C-'s. Neither am I, to be honest.
My family has always emphasized school as being one of the most important things in the world. Now, I'm not saying that it IS; I'm just saying that in my family it is. So, I feel pretty low when I do a crappy job at school.
My school isn't offering any of the three classes that I still need to graduate this semester. I don't know what I'm going to do with all of this free time. I mean... I haven't really been without homework, etc for at least 4 years.
I may have mentioned before, that I think that I'll start on some industry certifications that would help me in the future. How motivated and dedicated I am.
Not really a whole lot else going on... maybe cause I have hardly left my house in the past week. I've been catching up on sleep and relaxation after 4 years of school. I'll try to be more exciting, and maybe have something to write about.
...the unthinkable happened! I passed both of my classes last semester. I cannot even believe it. I mean, I TOTALLY and COMPLETELY failed my final in one of the classes... I should NOT have passed it. One of the classes, I thought, "Well, I could probably squeak by..." but the other, WHOA... I was already planning my explanation to my financial support (Parents) as to why I hadn't passed.
It's really a wonder how my life works. I mean, one minute I'm just neck high in shit. The next minute, I appear to be floating on cloud nine. My Dad said to me once, (Actually I think that it was right before I moved out...)
"You know, *V*... You really are the luckiest kid I know. I'm not sure how you do it, but no matter what... you always seem to pull yourself out of the most hopeless situations."
This is SOOO true though, ('Knock-Knock on wood') I don't know how I do it, but I do seem to come out standing after the smoke has cleared. This is definitely not something that I can count on, but it sure as hell is nice to know. :o)
So, things are going well right now. The chick that rear-ended me is apparently scrounging some money together, so that should hopefully be over with soon, my truck is running great. I have a good job, and I surprisingly like my ungodly hours.
I guess there's nothing left to do but wait for the roller coaster to make another dive. Ugh.... ;o)
I'm a guy in my 30s, that tries to look at life in the simplest way possible. I'm a bit of thinker. I often feel that the world complicates things unnecessarily, and I like to explore those things. Then again, I could be just plain ignorant.
