Mr. Fixit Tells his Shockingly Dumb Story
"Ugh.... I'm full..." I say, clutching my bloated stomach. "That tasted great... probably because it didn't cost me anything."
My little group of friends sitting around the table all give me a pity laugh.
I have a good little group of close-knit friends. We're all pretty close, cause we all use to live together. Then, like out of no where, a few years ago, I turn around and everyone is marrying each other. Before I knew what happened, ten of my closest friends became 5 married couples. THEN they really threw a curve ball into the mix... and little kids started popping up. lol (Actually it's still really fun)
We're at Sizzler, stuffing ourselves, for free. My buddy Ray is a manager there, and apparently he gets some sort of perk-card where he can get a few meals a month for free. So, Sash (Ray's Wife), KK and me are there, +2 babies (Both Ray & Sash's).
"Well, I figure since I'll only get to use this till the end of the month, I should splurge a little." Ray says.
"Dude that really sucks... they sound like they're being major assholes about this whole thing." I respond. We start talking about all the politics bullshit that has finally driven Ray to the point of quitting.
"So, I saw the mess you made with the bathroom sinks plumbing... looks like you know what you're doing." I hassle him.
"Shut up." He responds "Don't trouble yourself with it..." He fires back, "I'll just finish my 10 hour shift here tonight, and go home... completely exhausted and finish it, instead of spending time with my wife and children."
"Oh, you dick.... that's nice... really nice." I'm feeling sorta bad for the guy. "Maybe I'll check it out, when we drop Sash off."
A few minutes later, we're pulling up at their house. I already have my tools with me, just cause Ray had asked to borrow some earlier. So, I thought what the hell?
So, while KK and Sash are goofin' with the little kids, I go and crawl under the sink and see if I can figure it out.
Well, 2 trips to Home Depot and 5 hours later the sink was done.
I just totally fixed a sink. That was so cool. I'm nothing short of amazing. I kick ass. (lol... ok, maybe I'm pushing it... but, Hey... it felt good at the time)
So, needless to say, I was on a high. I got home gloated around a bit... and finally walked down to my room to get ready for a shower. (I was FILTHY after putting that sink together) But, when I got there... I finally snapped.
No one's room should be 84 degrees... ESPECIALLY in the basement. Despite this "rule," that WAS the temperature of my room... and I was SICK of it. The ceiling fan in the kitchen, upstairs from my room was loose or something a few weeks ago. So, rather then fix it... my brilliant roommates ripped it out of the ceiling and threw it on the landlord's bed. (He's off on an internship somewhere and won't be back for a few more weeks.) Well, this ceiling fan was an integral part of keeping my room bearable. It blew the swamp cooler air, (from the second floor) down to my room.
Well, hey... if I can fix a bathroom sink, I can fix a ceiling fan... right? I mean, it's like the same thing, right?
Well, I lay out all my tools and start "inspecting" the damage... trying to take the ceiling mount apart and figure out how it worked. Meanwhile all my roommates are standing there, staring at me like I'm doing something weird. You know... like fixing a ceiling fan at 1AM is weird...?
Well, it was around that time when a funny thing happened. I totally spazzed out. Wreathing around like I was having a seizure, yelling profanity, and practically falling off of the little wooden stool I was standing on. Essentially, my entire body became a massive "funny-bone."
Yah, so apparently ceiling fans use what's called: "Electricity." In addition to that, people don't react well when coming into contact with this "Electricity."
"Oh my hell!! That was the funniest shit I have EVER seen!!!" One of my roommates cries. No, literally... he was crying he was laughing so hard.
"You should have SEEN yourself... you looked like... a retarded.... blah, blah, blah..." There was so much commotion, I never found out what I "looked like."
Everyone was DYING, they were laughing so hard. After I regained control of my motor functions, I started busting up too... I mean, it was pretty stupid of me to even BEGIN to play with this thing, without flipping the breaker.
Needless to say, even AFTER we flipped the breaker I was ultra paranoid about getting electrocuted again.
So, for your information, I fixed the ceiling fan too! It only took me 2 hours or something. And no trips to Home Depot. Yah, I know what you're thinking... "He really IS amazing, and DOES kick ass."
Uh.... hehe, right?
Ok, so maybe this story sucked... but you really had to have been there... It was really funny at the time. Ok... um... I feel sorta dumb now. :o)
*V*
My little group of friends sitting around the table all give me a pity laugh.
I have a good little group of close-knit friends. We're all pretty close, cause we all use to live together. Then, like out of no where, a few years ago, I turn around and everyone is marrying each other. Before I knew what happened, ten of my closest friends became 5 married couples. THEN they really threw a curve ball into the mix... and little kids started popping up. lol (Actually it's still really fun)
We're at Sizzler, stuffing ourselves, for free. My buddy Ray is a manager there, and apparently he gets some sort of perk-card where he can get a few meals a month for free. So, Sash (Ray's Wife), KK and me are there, +2 babies (Both Ray & Sash's).
"Well, I figure since I'll only get to use this till the end of the month, I should splurge a little." Ray says.
"Dude that really sucks... they sound like they're being major assholes about this whole thing." I respond. We start talking about all the politics bullshit that has finally driven Ray to the point of quitting.
"So, I saw the mess you made with the bathroom sinks plumbing... looks like you know what you're doing." I hassle him.
"Shut up." He responds "Don't trouble yourself with it..." He fires back, "I'll just finish my 10 hour shift here tonight, and go home... completely exhausted and finish it, instead of spending time with my wife and children."
"Oh, you dick.... that's nice... really nice." I'm feeling sorta bad for the guy. "Maybe I'll check it out, when we drop Sash off."
A few minutes later, we're pulling up at their house. I already have my tools with me, just cause Ray had asked to borrow some earlier. So, I thought what the hell?
So, while KK and Sash are goofin' with the little kids, I go and crawl under the sink and see if I can figure it out.
Well, 2 trips to Home Depot and 5 hours later the sink was done.
I just totally fixed a sink. That was so cool. I'm nothing short of amazing. I kick ass. (lol... ok, maybe I'm pushing it... but, Hey... it felt good at the time)
So, needless to say, I was on a high. I got home gloated around a bit... and finally walked down to my room to get ready for a shower. (I was FILTHY after putting that sink together) But, when I got there... I finally snapped.
No one's room should be 84 degrees... ESPECIALLY in the basement. Despite this "rule," that WAS the temperature of my room... and I was SICK of it. The ceiling fan in the kitchen, upstairs from my room was loose or something a few weeks ago. So, rather then fix it... my brilliant roommates ripped it out of the ceiling and threw it on the landlord's bed. (He's off on an internship somewhere and won't be back for a few more weeks.) Well, this ceiling fan was an integral part of keeping my room bearable. It blew the swamp cooler air, (from the second floor) down to my room.
Well, hey... if I can fix a bathroom sink, I can fix a ceiling fan... right? I mean, it's like the same thing, right?
Well, I lay out all my tools and start "inspecting" the damage... trying to take the ceiling mount apart and figure out how it worked. Meanwhile all my roommates are standing there, staring at me like I'm doing something weird. You know... like fixing a ceiling fan at 1AM is weird...?
Well, it was around that time when a funny thing happened. I totally spazzed out. Wreathing around like I was having a seizure, yelling profanity, and practically falling off of the little wooden stool I was standing on. Essentially, my entire body became a massive "funny-bone."
Yah, so apparently ceiling fans use what's called: "Electricity." In addition to that, people don't react well when coming into contact with this "Electricity."
"Oh my hell!! That was the funniest shit I have EVER seen!!!" One of my roommates cries. No, literally... he was crying he was laughing so hard.
"You should have SEEN yourself... you looked like... a retarded.... blah, blah, blah..." There was so much commotion, I never found out what I "looked like."
Everyone was DYING, they were laughing so hard. After I regained control of my motor functions, I started busting up too... I mean, it was pretty stupid of me to even BEGIN to play with this thing, without flipping the breaker.
Needless to say, even AFTER we flipped the breaker I was ultra paranoid about getting electrocuted again.
So, for your information, I fixed the ceiling fan too! It only took me 2 hours or something. And no trips to Home Depot. Yah, I know what you're thinking... "He really IS amazing, and DOES kick ass."
Uh.... hehe, right?
Ok, so maybe this story sucked... but you really had to have been there... It was really funny at the time. Ok... um... I feel sorta dumb now. :o)
*V*
posted by viperbux at 2:26 AM
5 Comments:
OMG, I am SO glad that you are ok!! That is super funny though- you're lucky you didn't fall off the stool and crack your head or something! Be careful, Mr. Fixit. You get 600 points for being so awesome.
After fixing up the basement which took over two and a half weeks, I can completely understand your feeling of power!! :) I now am a woman who knows how to use most power tools, my favorite being the power saw ::blushes:: haha. It does make you feel good to put up 3 ceiling fans(that was the boyfriend's job!), a light fixture for the hall, paint all the walls, and install that insane laminate flooring!! haha...It makes ya feel good! Congrats fellow do-it-yourself-er!!! :-D
My brother's first baby words were "Goddamnit" when he stuck a fork into an outlet. Just thought you might want to know what words to use next time.
um. ouch!!?? Are you trying to kill yourself -- subconsciously I mean? Hope not. Glad you're okay!!! And good work on fixing things!
Ok of course Im gonna comment on this.. as one who saw I should express my thanks at the gift you gave us all that night. Oh gosh.. It will stay with me a long time.. let me just saw there isnt a price I wouldnt pay to see it again and again..
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